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Thought Stopping Strategies for Trauma Survivors

Lisa Ferentz talks about many successful ways to support trauma survivors. Two techniques that I utilize in my treatment of survivors are the “Not Now” and “Roller Paint Brush” Techniques.

The “Not Now” tip encourages clients to use their hands to push away intrusive negative thoughts, rather than fight them. Ferentz describes clients actually using their arms, with palms facing outward and pushing the unwanted, negative thoughts away. This sends a non verbal message to the brain that these thoughts are on hold (2012).

Ferentz’s second tip that I love is the paint brush strategy. The idea is to visualize rolling over the difficult thought — covering the thought over and over until you can’t see the words anymore. Clients are encouraged to follow with their eyes, going over and over the thoughts — even breathing through out, but not engaging in a power struggle over them.

These tips and more help trauma survivors stop the “loop of negativity” that often derails their recovery.

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Surviving and Enjoying the Holidays

As the Holidays are fast approaching, I have spent much of my time during sessions preparing clients for visiting and enjoying their time with their families and loved ones. Most vacations away visiting families or staying home are wonderful and full of long lasting positive memories. Sometimes, this is not the case with all families or all trips. One idea to help navigate through potential troubled waters, is to create a mini traveling survivlal kit that will help soften some of the intense feelings that occur after a family trigger. Trauma Expert, Janine Fischer suggests this with people who are at risk for self harm, but I have found that this idea helps many people cope in all situations. We are always packing for EVERYTHING–why not “pack” a kit that will help you cope with potential family triggers. Triggers can occur in any sensory experience: sight, taste, smell and auditory.

The contents of the kit depends on YOU and the details surrounding the trip. To prepare, you must think about potential pit falls and triggers, as well as, the events that you really want to ENJOY! With this in mind, pay attention to how you are feeling when thinking of the triggers — how intense are they? where are you feeling them in your body? Now — what are some things that might help you cope IF this situation occurs during your home holiday or your vacation away. Some suggestions are: exercise, going to the movies, listening to a great song list, knitting/sewing, reading a book that is pleasurable, calling/texting a friend…. . Make list and practice preparing to use it. You can literally create a box to bring or even something in a separate bag that would also include your favorite quote, stones or other “grounding” objects.

When faced with difficult family situations, this survival kit gives you a plan to help control feelings that can be overwhelming and can cause you to feel flooded. Most importantly, the goal is to ENJOY the events that are important to you and not remain STUCK in the emotional storm. Hope this tip helps you in enjoy your holiday.

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PTSD Memories: The Body Always Remembers

Most of us have had feelings of nostalgia once in a while. We might see yellow school buses go by and think of our children long ago getting on the bus for the first time. Maybe it is when the weather changes, we remember our college days or hear an old song that reminds of times past. Sometimes we can’t remember exactly in detail the event, but our body and brain reminds us of that particular time in our lives.

When people experience a trauma, the body and brain also remember. People recovering from traumas can witness in themselves very intense feelings or ”memories” of the situation that occurred (Fisher, 2013). This onset is often triggered by any sensory experience: sight, smell, auditory, and so on.

What outsiders may not realize is that these emotions can be very scary and overwhelming. Everyone has heard that saying ”it is like riding a bike ’ you will remember what to do”. Well’this is the way the body is reminding the survivor — but it is the type of muscle memory one must learn to cope successfully with.

 

Some examples of experiences are: feelings of panic, apprehension, shame, depression, numbness, sense of abandonment, impulses to run or leave, self mutilation, shakiness, rapid heartbeat, and suicidal ideations. All of these reactions or feelings is the body’s way of remembering what happened. Very often, clients will say to me ’ ”I don’t really remember all the details”, ”there are lapses in my memory from growing up”. Yet, the body is recalling ’ communicating in feelings and behaviors.

Having this cognitive understanding, allows clients to begin strengthening their ability to tolerate this hyper or hypo arousal state that is so very uncomfortable (Fisher, 2013). They can then remind themselves they are in the present day. This helps build new muscle memory that the feelings – aka- the memories, can be tolerated with new coping skills. The goal is to change the default setting — to tolerance ’and hopefulness.

(Fisher, 2013)

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Time Outs for Everyone

As a parent of three young children, the days of time outs are not far behind me. What I find interesting is how this behavioral tactic is so useful for children and adults of all ages. When Time Outs are used with self-soothing techniques (ways to calm yourself down), the road to compromise with your offending partner is not so bumpy! But how do you know when to take a Time Out during a disagreement?

John Gottman talks about this important break in his book ”And Baby Makes Three”. The first important step is identifying what you are feeling and if you are becoming flooded. Yes – just like your basement flooding or sadly the Titanic, but it happens more quickly and is felt differently across gender lines.

For some people they may feel:

  • Knots in their stomachs
  • Jaw tightening
  • Changes in their breathing patterns
  • Freezing/or difficulty moving

Gottman describes this as a tidal wave of physiological sensations: called Diffuse Physiological Arousal: DPA. When we are in this state, our reasoning, hearing, and rational self are altered. Thus the fight or flight sensation is activated. According to Gottman, we must then know to take a break and calm down in order to effectively navigate (and compromise) within the argument. If not, we end of saying and doing things that we often regret later. Sound familiar?

Gottman believes that we need to first understand and recognize the signs of DPA so that it does not suck us into a vortex of an alarmist state ’ ready and mobilized for action! Taking this break has to happen before the flooding. It is also important to indicate when you will resume talking about the issue at hand. It is recommended at least a half an hour, but not more than one day.

During that time, our systems have calmed down and we will be better able to compromise with our partner, child, and co ’worker. The details of the time out (the identified mutually agreed upon sign that a break is needed, for how long and can we commit to this ritual) with a partner / child can be discussed during calm times before a heated discussion.

With outside people, one can simply say ”it seems as though we don’t agree, why don’t we talk about this situation later when we can have some time to think about it?” .

Don’t forget to calm yourself down when the time out is happening. Some clients of mine write, other listen to music, exercise, and take deep breathes. This part of the ritual must happen or you won’t be ready or able to do the next big step: compromise!

Try this method out! You will be surprised how well it works.

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Postpartum Depression in Women

”I am supposed to be so happy — why am I not?”

Having a new baby can often be difficult for women when they are first home with their child. At a time when mothers believe they should be excited and happy over the birth of their child, some report being miserable, sad, and regretful- – struggling with Postpartum Depression (PPD). Postpartum Support of Virginia (2011) reports most common PPD symptoms as:

  • regrets having a baby
  • having trouble sleeping, even when baby sleeps
  • thinks her family would be better off without her
  • fears leaving the house or being alone
  • isolates herself from friends and family
  • has unexplained anger or irritability
  • fears she might harm herself or her baby
  • has trouble coping with daily tasks
  • has difficulty concentrating or making simple decisions
  • feels ”out of control”
  • feels guilty for feeling this way

Some root causes of this depression are the result of hormone fluctuations after giving birth, the decrease in amount of sleep a new mom receives, isolation, a history of depression prior to pregnancy or birth of baby, the birth experience, and any concerns related to the baby — feeding issues, colic, a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit experience, etc. These symptoms can be very overwhelming at times and difficult for spouses and partners to understand. Getting help as soon as possible is very important.

Some steps to cope with this illness include getting enough sleep (up to 5 hours a night), having a healthy diet — including 64 oz. of water if you are breast feeding, and etting regular exercise. Ask for help from outside family and friends to assist with laundry, food shopping, and childcare. Sometimes writing in a journal can help process some of the difficult feelings that you may be having. Lastly, consult a mental health professional who can support you with more coping strategies. Please feel free to contact me if you are interested in hearing about more ways to treat Postpartum Depression.